Remebering 9/11

I tried to post this on my sisters blog but it wouldn't let me because it was too long. I knew my blogs were long (I didn't think my comments would be as long :) She posted her 9/11 story and wanted others to share theirs.

So, here is mine:

It's so incredible to me that every single one of us remembers exactly where we were and what we were doing at that exact moment 9 years ago. At that time we were a family of three. My now 10 year old was 1 1/2. We were in the process of moving from North Carolina to California. Jason was getting ready to leave for Korea. We were getting settled into my parents house and trying to cope with the fact that we were going to be separated for a year. I remember waking up early that September morning. Bryanna had come into our room and crawled into bed with us. I turned on the TV so that we could cuddle and watch cartoons. Jason was still sleeping. As soon as I turned the TV on, I knew something was really wrong. The first plane had just crashed into the twin towers. I remember feeling as though my heart had dropped to the floor. I nudged Jason. He rolled over and looked at me. He asked me what was wrong. All I could do was point to the TV. He sat up and looked at the TV. Right away we figured that it was a horrible accident. I think we both knew deep inside that it wasn’t. I remember looking at him and saying something is wrong. I can feel it in my heart, something isn’t right about this. He looked at me and said something has just changed our country. Right after those words left his mouth, the second plane crashed. I remember grabbing his hand and holding onto Bryanna. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Once we heard the words “attack on our country,” I started crying. It was at the moment that I knew that everything that we had ever known, everything that we had learned was about to change. I remember looking at my beautiful little girl thinking life was going to be so different for her. I didn’t leave the TV the whole day. I tried so many times to walk away but I just couldn’t. We watched the Pentagon go up in flames and then the plane went down in Pennsylvania. I remember looking at Jason and asking him when it was going to stop. How could someone hate our beautiful country so much? How could someone have so much hate in their heart for the American people? We watched as people jumped from buildings. We watched as people stood in streets looking confused and scared out of their minds. We watched as firefighters and policemen made their way towards the buildings never looking back. My mom came home from work early. Her boss told everyone at the office to go home. He wanted everyone to be with their families. As soon as she walked in the door, I hugged her tight. We all sat together in the living room until my dad got home from work. I don’t think any of us left each other’s side that day. It was almost as if something had been ripped away. I don’t know if it was the sense of security that was tucked deep down or if it was just the idea of someone actually wanting to destroy our country. Whatever the feeling was, it didn’t settle well.

The days that followed were just as bad. I watch the news non-stop. I cried. I stared in disbelief at all of the events that were unfolding live on TV. I was horrified at the thought of having to say goodbye to my husband. I was scared for both of my brother-in-laws who serve(d) in the Marine Corp. I was scared for our best friend who serves in the Army. We had no idea what was going to happen. Everyone was on lock down. We knew that our military men and women were on standby. It was just a matter of time.

Jason left for Korea on September 20, 2001. Nine days after this tragic day, I had to hug my husband goodbye. The security at the airport was pretty intense. We had to say our goodbyes from the airport entrance. Before 9/11, you could walk with your loved ones all the way to their gate. You could sit at the airport restaurants or at the gate seats until they boarded the plane. Before 9/11, you could stand at the gate window and watch the plane take off. Now, we have to pass through different levels of security. Now, we have to take off our shoes and make sure every single item we have gets scanned. Today, our children have to walk through the security scanners alone and sometimes they have to stand with their arms and legs spread out so that they can be scanned by airport security. I was so scared to let my husband board his plane. We had no idea what was going to happen or if he was even going to stay in Korea. We stood at the airport entrance and watched Jason climb up the escalator. I did my best to keep my composure. I held Bryanna in my arms. She was so little and so innocent. She kept saying goodbye to her daddy in her little tiny voice. My heart literally sank when I couldn’t see him anymore. The slow tears the slid down my face suddenly became more like a rushing river. My family literally had to support my weight. I remember Bryanna putting her arms around my neck and hugging me tight. I’m not exactly sure when I let go of my little girl that day.

We have had to say our goodbyes as our family and friends have had to deploy. We have sat together, cried together, and hugged one another. We have prayed for the safety of our troops and have hoped for their return. We have watched as so many have had to say their final goodbyes.

We have had the opportunity to visit New York since the attacks. We have been able to walk with our children through the hole that once held the two tall and beautiful buildings that defined the city. We were able to shake hands with some of the firefighters that risked their lives. We were able to see what the people of New York lost and what they have gained over the last few years. I am so grateful to have been able to share that with my children. I want them to know how amazing this country this is. I want them to be proud Americans. I want them to understand why their Daddy, their Uncle Brian, their Uncle Erik, and the rest of our troops do what they do every single day. We take pride in being Americans. We are very proud of the many family members that have served and continue to serve for our freedom. I am proud to be a military wife and to be a part of a military family! We will never forget the many people that lost their lives or the many people that had to say goodbye. Nor will we ever forget the many men and women who put their lives on line every single day.