{Grandmas Hold Our Hearts Forever}

I have learned that more often than not, life will take you by surprise. However, there are those moments when you are actually expecting things to happen. You know something will eventually happen because after all, the inevitable always happens.



Last night I got the phone call that my grandma, my grams passed away. I can’t say that the news was a shock because her health had been deteriorating rapidly over the past 2 months but, when my phone went off at 10:30 last night, I felt like I had been hit in the chest by a ton of bricks. I thought that I had prepared myself for this moment. I thought I would be able to handle the fact that I would never be able to see her or hold her again but, I was wrong. My grams got really sick over Christmas and I knew then that it was only a matter of time before she would leave this life and venture on to her new journey in heaven.


My grandma lived to be 96 years old. She was born in 1914. Can you imagine? I was always in awe over the fact that my grandma got to live through some of the most amazing moments in our country’s history. What amazed me even more was just how much she survived during these times. I have to admit, these were always some of my favorite stories to listen to.


When I was a kid, I always thought that the year 1914 was a magical year and now I realize that it truly was. In the year 1914, the world was sprinkled with a little stardust as Marion Alice Hartmann graced the earth with her presence.


My grandma was a very special lady. I was one of the lucky ones. I was fortunate enough to have a relationship with my grams. Through the years, I got to experience life with my grandma. I got to know her in ways that others will never understand. I learned about all of the hardships she faced not only as a child but as an adult. I got to watch her expressions as she shared her stories of joy and happiness.


As a kid, I tagged along everywhere with my grandma. I was with her at the craft store picking out different colored yarn for her latest crochet project, which usually was a gift for someone. I was with her at every swap meet outing helping her set-up her famous Christmas trees. I helped her serve food and wash dishes at her favorite hangout spot (The Landers Moose Lodge). I can’t tell you how many times I sat with her in her white Toyota pick-up truck listening to the infamous story of Old Mother Springs Road and Willy Boy, the boy who traveled the mountains. I didn’t have an I-pod or a DVD player to keep me entertained as we traveled through the hot desolate desert on Highway 247, I had my grandma.


My grandma never stopped living. She never let life get her down. She drove until she was well into her 80’s. She bowled and played pool with the best of them. She loved the fact that she could fit into size 5 jeans and prance around with her granddaughters. No job was ever too big, hence almost cutting off her foot with a chain saw because she just had to cut up some wood.


She was always there for everyone. Biologically, my grandma only had four grandchildren (3 boys and 1 girl). Over the course of her life, she adopted more grandkids than anyone I have ever met. She has “grandkids” spread out all over this country. She wasn’t known as Marion, she was known as Grandma.


During the big Landers quake in 1992, my grandma was featured on the news as the local hero who was out to make sure others had what they needed. My grandma didn’t let a little ol’ 7.3 disastrous earthquake get in her way. She had a store to open. She had to be there in case people needed supplies. We still aren’t quite sure how she made it there that day but she did and she worked all day and into the night helping out her fellow neighbors.


My grandma was the strongest women I ever met. She was stubborn and strong willed. She always walked with her head held high. She had her own set of rules and no one was going to tell her how to live her life. She carried the weight of the world on her shoulders but she never once let her family know it. Her family was everything to her. The moment she became a grandmother, life became all about her grandchildren.


My grandma was so proud of her family. Whenever she talked about any of us, you could see the pride pouring out of her soul. She always made sure that she was accounted for at any and every family event. It didn’t matter how she got there, she always found a way. She loved with all of her heart. She gave so much of herself and never once asked for anything in return.


I have so many wonderful memories of my time with my grams. She was the one who taught me how to play games like Yahtzee and Gin Rummy. She didn’t like to lose which meant that I had to really watch my back =] She sat and did puzzles with me. She taught me how to make banana bread and pumpkin rolls. During Christmas she would shove me out of the way because her chocolate chip cookies were more important than mine =] When I had my own kids, she made room in her heart to love a little more. I asked her one time how she felt about being a great grandmother and she said to me that she never could have imagined having a family as beautiful as ours.

My grandma got to experience the joys of being a mother, a grandmother, a great grandmother, and a great great grandmother. She once told me that her greatest blessing in life was being able to sit in a room with ALL of her grandchildren. She was the type of grandma who had to hold every grandchild just once even if her strength wouldn’t allow her to.


My grandma always shared such special words with me. I loved going out to lunch with her or going for a walk with her in the yard. She was always so proud of me. She told me that I was special and that I was going to be the one to make a difference in our family. She never doubted who I was. She once told me that my spirit would take me to places I never thought possible and that my heart would help me achieve all of my dreams. I didn’t know it then, but this is a trait I got from her.


I was so lucky to have my grams!!!


This morning, I woke up and my heart was very heavy. I knew something was off yesterday. Little had I known that my beautiful grandmother would take her final breathes on earth. I rolled over expecting to find a little comfort in my husband’s arms only to realize that I would have to hug his pillow a little tighter today. It dawned on me as I held My Jay’s pillow that two years ago almost to the day, I lost my other grandmother. The day before our 10 year wedding anniversary my father’s mom passed away and now just four days before our 12 year anniversary my mom’s mom has passed away.


I know that they are in a better place and that they are not suffering anymore and for this I am extremely grateful. I can’t begin to describe how honored I feel to have been a part of both of these women’s lives. They were both fighters and survivors. Their whole reason to live was for their family. They both taught me so much about life.

As I walked my little girl to the bus stop this morning our hands clasped a little tighter than usual, she looked up at the skies and said “Mommy, you said Grandma is heaven and that she is watching us right?” I said yes. She said “Well does that mean that Grandma can see Daddy too?” With tears forming in the corner of my eyes I shook my head. She then said “Mommy, Grandma is pretty lucky. She gets to see us and she gets to see Daddy too!”  

There are so many reasons why grandmas are special. This is one of my favorite quotes because it is so very true!

“Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever”