{A Little Reassurance}

Over the past couple of days, I have seen numerous posts on Facebook about an article written by a military wife/author named Melissa Seligman. I have to admit, I refused to read it at first. Not because I didn’t want to read what she had to say but simply because I knew my emotions would probably turn to mush.



The past two nights have been fairly restless nights. I’m not quite sure why but I have learned that these nights just tag themselves along throughout the deployment journey. However, there has been something that hasn’t been settling rather well. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until today.


Two days ago, I received a letter in the mail from Jason’s commanding officer in Afghanistan. Let me just remind you that this is a first for me. The letter was short, sweet, and to the point. Basically, he wanted to thank me for providing my husband with support and he wanted to reassure me that his job as a commanding officer is to make sure that his Airmen stay safe while completing their mission so that they can return safely home to their families. Before he signed his name with his contact information, he proceeded to explain to me that re-deployment is not that far away and that he expects that my husband will re-deploy with a great sense of pride and an eagerness to meet the new challenges he will face.


My first reaction, okay maybe you don’t want to know my first reaction or maybe I should say that it’s best not to share. I looked at that letter and thought Wow can we at least get through this deployment before we start talking about new taskings and providing support for the next assignment. Please don’t get me wrong, I am here for my husband every minute of every day and I know what my role is as his wife but gosh I just need to focus on getting my kids, myself, and my husband through this deployment before I can start focusing on another deployment. Seriously, can I just get him back home and put my arms around him before we start throwing the words new taskings and eagerness to meet new challenges on new assignments that DON'T include taking his family with him?!?!


Part of me was mad that I got this letter in the mail but the other part of me was a little happy to have someone within his command reach out. Although, I’d really like to know who writes these letters because they need to find a better format or at least use better wording.


The day got even better when I found out that the tasking list actually came out. Jason’s name is on the April 2012 list. Just so I understand things correctly, Jason is due to come home in July and then 9 months later he will leave again? I know that this is not 100% guaranteed but honestly it’s enough to make my stomach turn a little, okay maybe A LOT.


I have had some people say some rather hurtful things to me since Jason left. Why, I don’t quite know but, I got to thinking about it (because that’s what I do best when I don’t sleep). I have come to the conclusion that I don’t have it any easier than anyone else and I am really getting tired of hearing others say that. I have had the opportunity to be a part of different military communities. I have stood with family and friends in different branches as they have had to say goodbye to their loved ones. I have also been with them when they got to welcome them home. One of the things that I always thought was truly inspirational was how the spouses formed a support group for each other. Their husbands (or wives) deployed together as a unit and the families that were left at home bonded. It was fun to watch families join together at the “over the hump” parties. I would always smile whenever I would drive by my neighbor’s houses at Port Hueneme and see them outside painting their welcome home signs together. I could feel their excitement from inside my car. To be able to have a support system by your side and to be able to have others relate to you has to be absolutely incredible. I don’t have this opportunity. When my husband deploys, he will deploy on his own or he will go with two or three other troops. I don’t have the opportunity to form a bond with other wives who are going through the same thing. We don't have the opportunity to enjoy little festivities with other families that are hosted by my husbands squadron. Granted the Air Force does provide a lot of support and services and we are taking full advantage of them whenever we can but, it’s not the same.


Anyhow, for some reason I decided to click on the link for the article "What a Military Spouse Knows" written by Melissa Seligman . I’m not quite sure why but if I had to take a guess, I would place my bet on a little bit of faith, trust, and pixie dust =) (Can you guess what movie we just watched?) Something or someone out there wanted me to read these words.

If you didn't get a chance to read this amazing article, here is the link to "What a Military Spouse Knows"

http://herwarhervoice.com/blog/?tag=melissa-seligman


P.S. Thank you Melissa for sharing these words! Yes, my emotions turned to mush but, these words truly provided me with a little bit of strength and some extra reassurance; two things that this military wife needs from time to time.