{Hope}

I’m not one who shares thoughts freely especially on topics that don’t pertain to me or my family. However, the devastation of yesterday’s tragedy has filled my heart with grief, a sadness and an ache I have never felt before. 

Every morning, I wake my children up and get them ready for a brand new day. They eat breakfast while I pack their lunches. We chat about our daily happenings. We have our morning meeting in the bathroom while brushing our teeth. We bundle up and head out the door. As they get ready for a new day of learning adventures, I get ready for a new day of teaching adventures.

I spent my day oblivious to the outside world. I had no idea what had happened until I walked my first graders out to meet their parents. As I watched my parents hug their children tight and heard pieces of what had happened, my heart literally sank. When I listened to the news and read the stories online, I was grateful that my day had been consumed by reading, writing, and Christmas crafts.

My gut reaction was to find my own children. A tight hug, a kiss on the forehead, a silent thank you for being able to hold them in my arms.

As I packed up my things and turned out the light in my classroom, twenty little faces flashed through my mind. Twenty little faces that make me smile with their warm hugs, their sweet words, and their bright smiles. Twenty little faces that make me laugh with their silly stories and their quirky qualities that make them unique. Twenty little faces that have become a part of me.

Countless experts in just about everything will be interviewed. They will all assign reasons and illnesses and excuses as to why this person did what he did. No matter what is said and written, they will all be wrong. It's impossible to wrap your mind around something like this. We will struggle with reason, we will question why, and endlessly attempt to find sense in it all. Unfortunately, we won't find it. There is no sense or understanding to be found. The only things to be found are sadness and pain, heartbreak and anger, anguish and suffering.

In the midst of it all, there is also hope.

It seems impossible, unthinkable, and maybe even unbearable because for some it won’t come today or tomorrow. For some, it won’t even come before the New Year approaches.  

But it’s there!

Yesterday terrified me and challenged my beliefs. Yesterday shattered a sense of security I took for granted. Yesterday created a change deep within my soul and all though I may never fully understand the effects, yesterday has shown me the importance of holding on to hope.

Today, there are twenty families who won’t be able to hold their children and that is the worst thing in the world.

The events of this horrible tragedy have proven how completely connected we are as human beings. We find ourselves tied by the love and support God has given each and every one of us.

As I sit here surrounded by the sights and sounds of Christmas, the thing I find myself desperately clinging to is the magic that Christmas holds. 

Christmas is magical.

Christmas is selfless.

Christmas is pure. 

Christmas is peace.

Christmas is love.

Christmas is hope.

Christmas is promise. 

The true meaning of Christmas is inexplicably perfect.

My thoughts and prayers are with everyone who has been affected by this unexplainable tragedy. My hope is that they can find some sense of peace and hope.