{A Dog Named Millie}

Two very wise greatest aunts once told me, “You will never find the perfect dog. The perfect dog will find you.” I never would have understood these words had I not met Millie.

Jason and I had always wanted to own a dog together. Neither one of us had ever really known life without a dog. After we were married, we adopted a 6 week old Cocker Spaniel. She quickly became the queen of the house but unfortunately she turned on us. After a couple of failed attempts at dog training and even a doggie psychologist, we were forced to make a decision. Bry was on her way and there was no way that we could trust Brinkley around a new baby.

The puppy blues came and went. Jason left for Korea for a year. Life moved forward. When Jason got back from his overseas tour, we moved into a new house. We were settled and happy to be living closer to family but one thing was missing...the love of a dog.

February 2003, Bry wasn’t quite 3 yet but we knew that she was as much as a puppy lover as we were. One day, I decided to take a quick detour to the local shelter. I swear I was only going there to look.

I remember the day as if it were yesterday. There were so many dogs that needed homes. It was hard to stay focused. Bryanna was oblivious to the world around her. All she saw were “PUPPIES” everywhere. As we walked around, Bry stayed a few steps behind me singing the theme from Barney. When I turned the corner, I saw a little black ball rolled up against the cage. I tried to get her attention but she didn’t move that is until she heard Bryanna singing. “Millie” according to her name tag, perked up. Her little ears pointed straight up as she watched. As soon as Bryanna was standing next to me, Millie got up and moved towards us with her tail wagging happily behind her. The animal control officer that was walking with us looked at me with shocked eyes. She explained that Millie was a sweet girl but that she had been a bit depressed since her sister had been adopted out three days earlier. She hadn’t eaten or wanted to play. Something told me to give Millie a chance. I asked to take Millie to the walking area in order to get better acquainted. I wish I could put into words what happened that day between Bryanna and Millie but honestly, there is no way for me to explain what happened other than to simply say that an everlasting bond between a girl and her dog was formed. Millie happily followed her new best friend around. She didn’t care what Bry did or where she was going, she just wanted to be by her side.

I called Jason and tried my best to describe what I was seeing. He said that the only thing for me to do was to bring Millie home. I then went on to explain that she wasn’t the type of dog we were looking for. Millie was a Pit/Lab mix. Jason didn’t care about her breed. He told me to go with my gut and my heart so that is exactly what I did. As I signed her adoption papers, I learned that Millie was due to be euthanized later that same week. Millie had already found her best friend and after that moment it was clear she needed a home and it was time for her to become a Mall.  

Nothing in this world could have ever prepared me for the way people would react. I had family members hang up on me and refuse to take my calls. We had family and friends calling us irresponsible parents. Anything and everything you can possibly imagine was spat at us. After everything we had been through with one dog, how could anyone actually think we would ever put our daughter in harm’s way??? It was awful and cruel but we decided to ignore the reactions and the comments and took Bry shopping for new puppy things instead. 

It would be very easy for me to write a book about the life of Millie Mall. She survived getting hit by a car and being pronounced dead. She battled her way through multiple surgeries, one of which is completely unheard of in dogs. She returned home safely after ALL of her unplanned and unauthorized excursions. She faced the trials and tribulations of the military life, and let’s be honest, she raised and survived three Mall kids!!!

Over the past year, Millie’s health deteriorated quickly. One tiny cyst grew into a cancerous mass that eventually covered the entire backside of her neck. Within a matter of a couple of months, her body was covered with lumps. Her muscles and bones slowly began to deteriorate. We were told that there wasn’t much we could do and that our job was to keep her as comfortable as possible for as long as her body would allow us to. The moment I realized everything had changed was the moment when Millie could no longer cuddle. I think in her own way she was trying to prepare us for the inevitable. As much as 

I tried to deny the reality, she knew her time was coming.

Her last week with us was brutal. She could no longer lift or shake her head, her legs began to give out on her, and her breathing became shallow. Everything she tried to do was forced.

On Thursday, May 30^th, we made the hardest decision of our lives. As much as we wanted to hold on to her and love her, she was ready to go. Leaving the veterinarians office that day, I held Bry tightly next to me. She said “Mom, you always told us that Millie picked us to be her family. We were so lucky that she picked us. It was her job to bring people together and that is what she did.”

Millie loved people more than anything else in life especially kids. She was afraid of cats and coward in the corner anytime one came around. She loved to unwrap presents and look for squeakers in all her toys. She would run and jump in the bathtub as soon as someone asked her if she wanted to take a bath. She was curious of small animals but always took precautions especially after she learned that turtles and frogs aren’t really that nice to big black dogs. Your business was her business. Your face was fair game for her tongue, is you so happen to lie on the floor and if you sat on the couch, she made sure that your lap was comfortable enough to suit her standards. She loved to sunbathe and run crazy loops around the yard. She only ate her food after one of us played with her by pretending to eat it first. As much as she loved riding in the car, she would have to take Dramamine just like Bry and Trav in order to make it long distances. Her true gift in life was the love she had for everyone that came into her life. She never judged people the way people judged her. She never wanted to hurt anyone, even when others wanted to hurt her. 

The past couple of days have been the hardest days of our lives. We wake up in the morning and expect to hear the sound of her tail hitting the carpet. We catch ourselves watching our steps because we assume she is lying under our feet somewhere. I find that I move around the kitchen as if she is patiently lying in the middle of floor just waiting for mom to “accidentally drop” a piece of food. I absentmindedly walk to the back door expecting to let her inside. Every time I walk inside, I expect to see her waiting with her tail wagging behind her. The first time the doorbell rang, we were all waiting for Millie to bark. When it never came, we knew life had changed for us.

I wish that I could say that the days have gotten easier but the truth is we are all still hurting. I don’t know that missing her will ever go away. Mille was with us for 10 amazing years. She loved us unconditionally and never expected anything in return. She provided comfort and love everyday but even more so during the times when we really needed it. During deployment and TDY’s, Millie was the one who watched over us and made us feel safe. She was the one we went to when we needed to cry things out, talk things out, and during the times when we just needed to sit in silence. She brought us so much laughter and helped us to create more memories than I would ever be able to share in one single post. 

To all of you who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers, I want to say thank you! I sat down and read what so many of you had to say about Millie Mall to the kids. We were all blown away by the many lives she touched and love you all felt for her. She was a remarkable dog and I know that we were truly blessed to have her because there will never be another dog like her! After reading all of your wonderful words, Bry said to me “I think Millie picked us so that we could show the world how amazing Pit-bull’s truly are. She proved to everyone around her that all dogs need to be amazing animals, is love.”