New fashion for a new school

Summer of 2010 is slowly coming to an end for our family of 5. August is just around the corner and with that looms a brand new school year. This year marks a couple of milestones for us. Bryanna will be starting 5th grade. This will be her final year in elementary school. It is so hard to believe! It seems like only yesterday, we walked through the halls of Laguna Vista anxious to meet her kindergarten teacher. Kalyssa was in a stroller and Travin was still growing inside my belly. It is amazing how the time has flown by!

Kalyssa will be going into first grade. Bryanna explained to her that this is a big year for her because she is actually starting “grades” now :) My little man is going into kindergarten! How crazy is that? Before I know it, he will be reading as good as his sisters, tying his own shoes, and teaching me a thing or two about school lessons through the eyes of a boy. There were times when I couldn’t wait for the day to come when all three of my kids would be in school all day. Now that the time is here, I am really sad to see them go.

The kids are set to start school on August 11th. They are very excited for the day to come. They are eager to meet new friends and thrilled about what their new school has to offer. We have heard nothing but positive things about their new school. Everyone raves about the school and the teachers. This was actually the reason why we decided to buy in the community where we are at. On Monday, we will head down to the school to get the kids registered. I am excited to find out who their teachers will be. I have spent a lot of time reading the school website as well as the teacher websites. Of course my focus has been kinder, 1st, and 5th :)

We spent last weekend getting the kids all ready for their brand new school year. With three separate lists in hand, we headed out for a day of shopping. I have to say I was a little shocked to see all of the things that we had to purchase. All three lists were long and extremely detailed. We walked out of the store with everything from crayons, pencils, and different types of paper to backpacks, folders, and a nap mat. We spent a few hours going in and out of different stores trying to find the right sized uniforms. Shopping for uniforms for three kids can be a little daunting. This was our first true “back to school” shopping experience. Usually the kids get clothes throughout the year. Needless to say, we have never worried too much about making a huge shopping trip right before school. They have always gotten a couple of special outfits but nothing to this degree. Uniforms are definitely a first for all of us. We had to purchase everything from shirts and bottoms to belts, socks, and shoes.

Bryanna was not a happy camper when we found out that uniforms were required. For those of you who know my daughter well, know that she is all about fashion. This includes everything from clothes to shoes, to accessories. She loves to look at magazines to catch the latest trends. She pieces her outfits together by looking at pictures of her favorite celebrities. She was so upset because “how am I ever going to be creative? How can I make a uniform look cute or unique?” Seriously? This came out of the mouth of my 10 year old. Well let me tell you, shopping changed her perspective completely! Once she saw that there were so many options to choose from, her tune changed to a happier beat.

Kalyssa on the other hand could care less. Although she loves clothes or should I say she loves to change into different outfits 4 or 5 times a day, she has no fashion sense at all. I’m not sure if any of you have heard of the store called “Little Mismatch” It’s a store that sells clothes and accessories that don’t match. Had I know that Kalyssa’s fashion skills could make me millions, I would have marketed her trend a long time ago:) As far as uniforms were concerned, the only thing she cared about was whether or not the uniforms came in dresses. She was so excited to learn that she could choose from dresses and skirts.

Poor Travin doesn’t have as many options as the girls. He is not happy at all with the clothes he has to wear to school. We had him try on different shorts and shirts. His options for shorts are khaki or navy blue. As for shirts, he can wear navy blue, light blue, or white. For those of you who have boys, let me ask you this; how many times do you choose to put your son in a white shirt? I don’t know about you, but my answer is never! It never fails, if I put Travin in anything white, he is going to end up getting dirty. Using an entire gallon of bleach won't get rid of the stains he manages to acquire. So that leaves us with blue! Although I think he looks very handsome in his uniforms, he is not happy that he has to wear something other than a Cars or Toy Story shirt. The fact that he has to tuck in his shirt and wear a belt only makes wearing a uniform that much less appealing for a boy who prefers dressing in casual and comfortable clothes.

As you can see, we are full of new changes in the Mall household. I guess that only makes our family expedition that much more exciting :)

Home Sweet Home

After being in our house for a month, I have finally gotten around to putting up some pictures. I have had many requests come our way. Thank you for being patient with me :)

We are still in the process of adding personal touches to each room. Bryanna’s room has been a little neglected throughout the decorating process. Her bedroom became the guest room this summer (one of the perks of having a bigger bed). Up until last week, she had to sleep in Kalyssa’s room. She was a great sport about the whole thing but is very excited to finally have her own room. She now spends a lot of her time just hanging out in her own space. Everyone once in awhile she will let her sister and her brother come in:) Usually if she wants to play with them, she will venture into one of their bedrooms.

Our next step will be to add some different paint colors to the walls. The kids decided long before we moved in what color schemes they wanted. Now it’s just a matter of buying all of the supplies. I can’t say that I’m in a huge rush to start that process. We still have a lot work ahead of us. There are many projects that we want to take on but for now, we a pretty content with our surroundings.



Every house where love abides
And friendship is a guest,
Is surely home, and home sweet home
For there the heart can rest.

Our First 4th of July in Louisiana

I know this post is a little behind schedule. I hadn't had the chance to download all of our pictures. With a little down time this weekend, I wanted to make sure to share a few of our summer time activities.

We celebrated our first official holiday in our new home with a big bang :) We spent most of our day relaxing and enjoying the fact that most of our boxes had been emptied and moved out into the garage. Jason was able to use his new grill, thanks to a certain special someone whom we love dearly. He grilled the all American meal, delicious hot dogs and scrumptious hamburgers.

We spent our evening enjoying 4th of July festivities in downtown Shreveport. I have never seen so many people embrace the birth of our country and the men and women who fight everyday to preserve our freedom. When people found out that we were a military family, we were hugged and thanked for all that we do. It was a moment I will never forget. We even had our 15 minutes of fame. We were interviewed by the local news station KTBS. We listened to the band play a variety of songs from the south. The kids danced and chased each other in circles until the flyover of the B52 bomber caught their attention. The fireworks were launched from the middle of the Red River. We had a front row view to one of the most spectacular firework shows we have ever seen. Kalyssa was so proud of herself because it was the first time she didn’t cover her ears :)

The grand finale of our night was spent in our driveway. My parents joined us as we watched the kids light-up our street with fireworks we had purchased earlier that day. It was quite an experience for all of us when you consider the fact that we have never lived in an area that allowed us to shoot off fireworks. The kids had a blast and we enjoyed watching them. It was definitely a great way to celebrate a day that means so much to all of us!

The Journey of Motherhood

“Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own."

It’s kind of ironic that I came across this quote today. I don’t remember how I ended up reading it but the words hit me pretty hard. I can’t say that I agree with every word. Boredom is definitely not a part of my life, especially when it comes to my children. However, I can agree with joy, exhaustion, and pride.

Over the past 11 years Jason and I have created a family like no other. We have been blessed with three beautiful and amazing children. I look at their bright faces everyday and wonder how I was lucky enough to be chosen to be a part of their lives. As if that’s not enough, I am the one who gets to be their mom!

I have learned over the years that motherhood changes you. From the moment I held Bryanna, I knew I wanted to be a better person. All of the things that I thought were important became a distant memory. The only thing that mattered to me was the well being of my family. Becoming a mom gave me a strength I never knew I had. I discovered a type of love that is unique and precious. The birth of Kalyssa and Travin only strengthened my desire to be the best mom I could be.

March 26, 2000, March 1, 2004, and September 14, 2005 will always be days that I treasure with all of my heart. Not only did I get to meet my children for the very first time, I also became a mommy. As I held each of my children in my arms, I felt the immediate bond that comes along with motherhood. The bonds that were formed between Bryanna and I, Kalyssa and I, and Travin and I are all special and unique in their own ways. I never knew that type of connection was possible until those three extraordinary days happened.

Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. In the back of my mind I am always questioning whether or not I am making the right choices. Bryanna is very smart, wise beyond her years. As she gets closer to becoming a teenager, I ask myself if I am giving her the right words of advice or if I am answering her questions in all the right ways. I want all my children to know that they can always count on me, especially during the difficult times. I am realizing now as I watch my daughter develop into her own person that "growing-up" happens faster than I actually want it too and it can be very challenging to stay on top of the things that are going on around her. When it comes to Kalyssa, I am always questioning whether or not I am giving her all that she needs. As if being the middle child isn’t hard enough, she is only 18 months older than her brother. Sometimes I feel like she got the short end of the stick. There are times when I look at her and hope to God that I didn’t deprive her of any special one on one mommy time. She is my attention seeker and I always worry that it’s because I may not have given her enough early on in life. She is my little love bug and I love the fact that hugs and kisses can always make things a million times better. Travin is a whole different story. There are only a few people that know how bad I struggled during his first year and half of life. Those few know that I was eventually diagnosed with postpartum depression. I hid it from most of the people in my life because I was ashamed of being weak. I was scared that people wouldn’t understand and that they would think I was making excuses or not strong enough to be a good mother. That was actually my worst nightmare because all I truly wanted in life was to be the best parent I could be to my kids. I never wanted to be in a position where I let them down. When I was diagnosed, I felt like that was exactly what happened and it crushed me. To this day I still struggle with these feelings deep inside. I tend to blame myself for a lot of things, especially when it comes to Travin. I look at my son today and I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. He brings a burst of fresh energy with him from the moment he crawls into bed with me in the morning until the moment I tuck him into his bed at night. Although it can wear me down, his energy is what often keeps me going throughout the day.

This is a little strange for me to be sharing all of this, especially so openly. Today was a challenging day for me. I tend to write a lot of things out in my personal journal but today I started typing. Travin had one of his melt downs this afternoon. I don’t know if it’s because we haven’t experienced one in awhile or what, but for some reason this one really got to me. After trying to calm him down for 45 minutes, I completely broke down. I fought away tears and held my son as tight as I could. He kicked and screamed, tried to bite me and pinch me and I held strong for 45 long minutes but then I just couldn’t anymore. I let go of my son and I just started crying. For the first time, I turned my back on my son. I put my running shoes on, told Jason I had to leave, and went for a long run. As I ran, I thought about everything that I have gone through with Travin for the past 4 ½ years. The first year and half is a blur for me. I know in my heart the things I said and the things I felt. There are some things that I will always carry with me, things that I will always be sorry for but can’t ever take back.

Over the past 2 years things have gotten better. I have always just tried to take each day as it comes. Something like today happens and it makes me question everything about myself. I start to wonder if I have made the right choices or if I have been the best parent I know how to be. It’s very hard to struggle with these questions. When I got back from my run, my son was sound asleep on the floor where I left him. I sat on the ground next to him and just rubbed his back. I couldn’t stop my tears as I watched him sleep peacefully. He fought very hard to push me away for 45 minutes and his body was exhausted. I gave myself 15 minutes to just be with him. Watching him, brought back all of the fears I’ve tucked away for the past 4 years. In some ways I feel like I have failed him as a mom. I can’t for the life of me understand why he gets so angry. When he gets angry, he tends to take it out on me. It’s very hard to sit in a room with your child and watch the anger vent from every angle of his body. The only answers I have for myself take me back to the first year of his life. This is probably one of the worst cycles to be in as a parent. When I walked out of his room, my girls were waiting quietly in the living room. They walked up to me and gave me a big hug. No words were said. The emotions of our afternoon were felt all throughout the house. Tonight after dinner, Trav crawled up into my lap. I sat on the couch with all three of my kids next to me. We read You Are All My Favorites, said our bedtime prayers, and then I put them to bed.

I know that every day will not be perfect and I have learned to accept that some days will be better than others. I know that I am very fortunate because at the end of the day, I am able to tuck my kids into bed, kiss them goodnight, and tell them that I love them. Believe me, for this, I thank my lucky stars!!

From the very beginning, each of my children had their own personalities and their own agendas. They have each brightened up my life in their own special way. They have filled my heart with love and joy and pride. Over the next few years my children will begin to establish who they are and what their place in this world will be. I know in my heart that I was put on this earth to make a difference in the lives of children. I would like to think that it all began with my own children. I hope that with each passing day I am doing what needs to be done to help my children grow and learn. I hope that at the end of each day my children know just how much I love them and that no matter what I will always be here for them. Bryanna, Kalyssa, and Travin are my life. They have given me more than I could have ever imagined having. Bringing in their own personalities into our family has made us exactly who we were meant to be "The Mall Family, a family like no other."

Welcome Home

We have officially been in our house for two weeks!! Needless to say the past couple of weeks have been INSANE! I can honestly say that moving is never fun! I think I tricked myself into believing that things would be better and easier this time around because we were moving into our own home. Things didn’t exactly work out as perfectly as I had hoped :) You would think that after 11 years of living the military lifestyle, I would have known better. Okay so it hasn’t been completely horrible and there are so many things that could have happened that luckily didn’t. However, I still think that moving is not a fun task to undertake no matter what the situation is. We are definitely counting our blessings that we have been able to get things done as fast as we have. I have to say that we were very fortunate to have had help from our parents.

Our moving “expedition” began back on Monday June 21st. Pops (aka Jason’s dad), flew to California from Oregon just to help us with the 1700 mile drive from Hesperia to Haughton. With the help of walkie talkie’s and coffee, Jason, Pops, and Millie made the trip in just 2 days. The first day they drove from California to New Mexico. Our wonderful friends (D & H Dupont) welcomed them into their home for the night. They were both grateful for the warm shower, the food, and a goodnight’s rest. The second day they traveled on one of the much dreaded interstates the cuts through Texas. It was a long and boring drive but they managed to get through it and made it to Louisiana late Tuesday night.

On Wednesday June 23rd, the kids and I said our goodbyes to Nana, Papa, and the west coast. We boarded the plane with my parents in tow and headed south for Shreveport, Louisiana. I have to admit, I was a little emotional on the plane. The flight was short and the kids were wonderful. We had our first run in with good ol’ southern humidity as soon as we took our first steps off the plane. Jason picked us up at the airport. We made our way down highway 20 and headed home for the first time as a family. It was pretty great to be able to share that moment with my parents. The kids were so excited they could hardly contain themselves. They had so many questions about our house and the area where we were going to live. They were excited to see their new school. Once we pulled into the community, their eyes lit up. They had so much to look at. We drove by the horse stables, the lake, the park, and the pool. All three of the kids had grins on their faces that stretched from ear to ear. It was definitely a moment I will always treasure! Of course they picked out our house right away (daddy’s car kind of gave it away). Pops and Millie were anxiously awaiting our arrival. I have to say that having Pops in our new home meant a lot to all of us. It was a nice “welcome home” gift to have him waiting to welcome us! For the first time in our almost 12 years of marriage, Jason was able to carry me over the threshold. I know it sounds a little corny. Even I couldn’t stop laughing but it was a new experience for us and one that will always be cherished.







We took the grand tour with the kids. They all fell in love with their rooms. The girls were pretty excited to finally have their own space. All three kids immediately had ideas on what they wanted to do to their bedrooms. Luckily we were able to get our household goods delivered right away. Our first weekend in Louisiana was spent unpacking boxes. The biggest challenge has been finding a spot for all of our stuff. Every house is different which makes every space different. After being in one area for almost 6 years, it has been a bit of a challenge to find a spot for all of the little odds and ends. We lost space in some areas but gained it in other areas. It’s taking some adjustment on my part but I am getting there slowly :) We are gradually finding the perfect space to place all of our belongings.

This past week, we have made our first real big purchases (and a few that aren’t quite so big). We bought a refrigerator and ordered custom blinds for the whole house. Our blinds will be installed tomorrow. I CAN”T WAIT!! The kitchen, dining room, and living room areas are complete. We have finished piecing together the kid’s bedrooms and bathroom. The only rooms that are left are the master bedroom and bathroom and the garage. With the help of my parents and Pops, we have made pretty good progress in two weeks time. (When you get the chance to read this, please know that we are very grateful for all of your help! We couldn't have done it without all of you. You definitely helped make our transition easier to handle. THANK YOU!!!)

Since we have been here, we have experienced a few thunderstorms (the kids including the dog are NOT fans :) and more rain in two weeks than we got in a whole year in California. We have seen a lot of dragonflies and a few lightning bugs (no alligators; YET). We have also gotten to celebrate our first holiday as a family in our new home.

Crazy! Insane! Chaotic! Whatever it has been, in the end, it has all been worth it!! We are not completely settled in and I am sure it will be a few more weeks before we are. The journey that got us to this point has been stressful, exciting, emotional, terrifying, blissful and so much more. We got through it all and we did it as a family. On July 1st, we made our first house payment. We both had butterflies in our stomachs as we pressed the payment key on the computer. Jason and I agreed that we kind of like being real grown-ups :) We are slowly learning that life as a homeowner is never ending. There is always going to be something to fix or something that needs to get done but for the first time ever, we both have the want to do whatever needs to get done because this is our home!